Wouldn’t it be great if…

I was born in August. So, with a birthday coming soon, my husband keeps asking me what I want for my birthday. With everything going on in the world, I am just feeling grateful to have my family and friends and I don’t really know what to tell him. However, secretly, I wish I could start a movement of acceptance. Wouldn’t it be great if you could make someone aware of the need for a little understanding when you’re having a tough time without having to say it. By someone I mean a complete stranger. I can’t tell you how many times when my kids were younger that I wish I could ignore the looks I would get if my son was having what may seem to someone else as an outburst but that I knew to be a moment of being over-stimulated by his surroundings. It is so much better now but when they were younger a trip to the grocery store could be overwhelming. Grocery delivery wasn’t really a thing 6-8 years ago when I was having these moments with him. I wish I could just not care when I would get looks from strangers as if to say ‘can’t you control your kid’ but the truth is I did care because I knew he was having a difficult time and something was making him uncomfortable and nothing I could say would make it better.

I often thought I wish there was a way to say my child is on the autism spectrum and having a difficult moment right now so please don’t judge us so harshly; you have no idea what we are going through. You know if someone is having a difficult time and bumps into but then you turn around to see that crutches are the reason for the mishap and the cast on the leg is the problem; there is instant acceptance for the problem and more likely a smile rather than an angry, judgmental look. You know not to pet a working dog because the dog wears a vest that clearly states “service dog” and needs to tend to the owner’s needs. There are many temporary injuries or permanent disabilities a child or person might have that we can see with our eyes but there are also so many more needs or circumstances that have no visible explanation. Outwardly, people may just see a behavior that seems odd or unnecessary to the everyday person who does not have any similar experience to draw from in his/her own life.

Wouldn’t it be great if I could have a lily pad key chain on my purse or diaper bag back in the day and people we encountered in those difficult moments could see it and recognize that I have a child with different abilities than others and provide us the space to breath in those moments and focus on the child and/or getting on with the task so we can quickly get to a quiet place without the added stress of that looming feeling I had of how I wish they would stop looking at me like with such judgement in their eyes. My wish would be that the lily pad could symbolize to all that there is a child or a person with a special need (of any kind) so when they saw the lily pad on a key chain, bracelet, hat or backpack that the person observing something that may seem out of the ordinary could stop and hold back the judgement that can sometimes come too quickly.

I’m not sure how to make this happen yet but I am trying to figure it out. The lily pad that I have come to symbolize the delicate support I provide my son when it is needed, I hope can be a symbol of a need for a little support and understanding for anyone who needs it in the future if it is helpful. I know I have mentioned it before but for those who are just reading something on this website for the first time, my son has a favorite stuffy that is a frog and has grown to love frogs and when I thought about my role in his world and how to support him best I thought of the lily pad that frogs can hop on when they need it. It is just floating in the water waiting to hold up the next little froggy that comes along that needs it. I offer a lily pad with love to anyone who needs it and hope that anyone who wants it can use it for an unspoken request for support when they need it most. So, if anyone thinks this may be helpful, then please let me know. I realize that just because I think something is a good idea doesn’t mean a large number of people will think the same. So, I would love some feedback if you made it to the end of this long post. Thanks in advance for the thumbs up or thumbs down.